A letter to Covid 19

I want to dedicate this blog to all the vulnerable that have been directly effected or their lives continue to be made more challenging by the Corona virus. I would also like to dedicate it to the front line workers not just the NHS staff (which I am not dismissing the amazing work they are doing) but the volunteers and family members that are putting their health at risk to help those in a vulnerable position on a daily basis, without these this situation could be a lot more dangerous for them. Thank you from me, sending so much love your way.

So here we are! Who would have ever thought that we would be in this kind of a situation. I was saying to my husband last night it feels like we are in a moment of history. I know it may upset some people by saying or hearing this this but if there is a positive to take from it, it is that when this is over They will be teaching about how the human race came through such challenge, in our children’s, children’s history classrooms. I would like to think we will come out the other side as a more calm, compassionate and selfless race but I guess we will have to watch this space for that outcome.

            I want to talk a little today about what the virus means to me and what I imagine it means to the more vulnerable of us out there. I was thinking of a way of doing this without causing too much offence and upset. I was going to recently join in a healing ritual preformed by Donna Lancaster of The Bridge Where I attended in early 2019 to help come to terms with my sight loss and grief. She prepared a healing ritual based around the virus and mother earth and incorporating your feelings towards both and a cleansing and a release of emotions through movement. We experienced this kind of ritual on the bridge so I felt like I could take part but then when it got down to the logistics I needed support and it is not really my husbands thing and we think my son would be too young to understand. I couldn’t have outside support so therefore I couldn’t take part with confidence. If I had spoken with Donna earlier I know we could have adjusted the ritual to fit me but once I thought I couldn’t do it because of my sight loss my ego was knocked and shut me down, which with being so isolated this is easier to do. So I wanted to share with you my letter to the virus letting it know how it has effected me. I hope this gives you a little insight into how it is effecting those of us who are already in a continuous state of fight or flight. A group of people who you would assume would be used to isolation and social distancing are in fact finding it just as hard if not harder than most.

Dear Corona virus

   I would like to ask where you came from? We are all a little confused here, people say you're a naturally made virus, some are saying you are manmade, others say you are not as serious as made out to be. I don’t know what to believe all I know is that I believe you have changed the entire world in less time then it took for my sight loss to change my world. 

   It has been two years nearly since I lost my sight and I was just starting to get my shit together and then you came along!! Do you realise how difficult it has been to build myself up to the point where I could go back out in public, where I could go back out and socialise, to accept that I would have to work on and heal my past grief to move forward, to start to believe in my abilities again, to feel like I could trust myself again. I was starting to believe that I had something valuable to say to the world to be heard, my confidence was growing again I was starting to feel like I was me again, I was valuable. 

   Then you came along and pushed all that out the way and pulled me back to the start or that is how it feels. All the things I had planned that were helping me get on the path I thought the universe had directed me to now seemed to have faded away. You came along and socially distanced and isolated people to their homes, there has been panic buying, rebellious acts of gatherings, selfish displays of human nature because you forced them into this place. What frustrates me is that me and people like me who have had to deal with these factors for most of if not all of their lives have not acted in these manners. I thought it may have opened people’s eyes to how we had to live our lives, but it seems that people are mainly ruled by fear and don’t see us now, just as they didn’t see us before! 

   You have brought out the good in people as well as the bad I’ll give you that. There are communities coming together and people on our street that we haven’t yet spoke to that have said they are happy to help if we need it and families connecting and spending more quality time together. So, however and wherever you came from you will come but you will not win, just like my sight loss you will not get the better of me or of the human race!

Enjoy your burn out you won’t be missed.

Regards

Nina

This letter and this blog are all my own opinions and thoughts and I understand and respect everyone else is entitled to their own. I just wanted to share with you how the situation is making me feel as a blind person. Having that lessability does give that little extra fear in these situations but I am trying to stay positive and trying to do a daily meditation practise and a gratitude list to help me keep a healthier perspective. 

The one thing in this life I have learnt is that things happen, things change and there is not much we can do about that! It is how we deal with it that makes the ground feel stable. A quote I heard recently “The tree will only reach heaven, if the roots reach down to hell” – Carl Young   

Please everyone do stay safe and if you do have any elderly or disabled people in your building, street or local community please do drop a letter or message to them to offer your help as you don’t know how valuable even that gesture is. You can still be safe and offer help, if you are popping to the shop for your essentials you could pick up theirs and drop the items to the door whilst they post the money out to you this is an option. 

Just think about it and enjoy the time you have with your family or the time you have with yourself as we may not get this again so make the most of it! 

Stay safe

Sending so much love.

Nina xx