Hi Everyone,
It has been a while since I have written for my blog. Hope you haven’t missed me too much! I have not had the best start to the year. The universe continues to throw curve balls my way. In January I lost the most important man in my life to Cancer.
My uncle was more than an uncle, he was my dad. He was there for me whenever I needed him, no questions asked. He was my number one fan, following everything I was involved in and cheering me on from the side lines. We used to joke about him having his eye on becoming my manager!
I know there are many people whose lives have been touched by the horrendous disease that Cancer is. Be it fighting it yourself or having someone close to you fight their battle. My heart goes out to you all.
When I lost my sight five years ago, Mikey turned up with a gift. It was a boxing glove pendant on a necklace in silver. He said it was for me to wear, to remind me of the strength I have. He said I was a fighter, and nothing could stop me. It is a strange and surreal experience losing someone. It never quite feels right but I know, and I feel, in my heart that he remains with me and I am going to make him proud.
I am sharing this with you because even though life continues to throw curve balls, there is always light ahead. Remembering that as humans we are wired to push through and to survive. It may not be pretty at times and the road will be bumpy, mine sure is, but then the road smooths out and that is when we can look up and forward and choose our direction.
I have recently had a smooth patch and been able to make some life changing decisions that will help that strength inside grow. I’ve recently gained employment with an amazing charity that supports other local charities and organisations within the sight loss sector to support change. I have volunteered within the sector since losing my sight so this seems like a natural progression. I am continuing to keep my toe in the world of holistic therapies and aim to bring some of what I have learnt through running five senses therapy to my new role.
Losing the one person I always thought would be there for me has taught me that nothing is guaranteed in life. So I am going to enjoy every moment of it and take every opportunity. That is why I chose the photo above for this blog. The photo is of me and my sister at a festival we attended in May. We’ve got glitter on our faces as well as big smiles!
If something is too hard or causing you pain and misery then there is only one thing to do, change it! Even the smallest start is a step in the right direction and a necessary move toward to bigger developments. Excepting fear and allowing yourself to feel it will enable you to take control of it. This is another thing I have learnt. I have never been as scared as I was at the start of the year, but I got through it. Yes, it is hard and some days are harder than others, but I know that by being kind to myself and making choices that reflect that self-compassion will continue to give me the strength to keep going.
I have a red carpet event in August for a film I was in to help create awareness of Charles Bonnet Syndrome and I will share more about that in the next couple of posts. My Esme’s Friends support group continues and my new job is going well. Things are looking better and I am working on that thing they call patience. Watch this space!
This post is an update of where I am. These are all my own experiences and I don’t claim to know it all! If my words and journey help you in any way then that is amazing but please seek help from a professional if you are struggling, ‘I do!’. I now know that asking for help is not a weakness it is a strength builder.
Take care and I’ll see you on the pages soon.
Sending love
Nina xx
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