Me, well what to say about me!
I want to share with you little about how I got to this path I am now on. I hope you enjoy and hopefully you will continue to share and read my I am a 37 year old woman from Manchester, born and bread and very proud of it! I had a period around 4 years ago where I thought I may have wanted to live by the sea so we moved to Cornwall but my heart was still here and my eyes wouldn’t allow the move to be easy so we moved back to where I know. That is a major thing for people with a sight impairment of every degree is that of familiarity. This enables confidence which encourages independence. I am not saying change is not a good thing, it is challenging and also can promote independence I just think that familiarity and organisation helps so much to. Well this is what I have learnt since losing my sight completely.
Should probably tell you a little about how I came to be blind. I was born fully sighted and contracted the flu virus at two years of age. This attacked my eyes and left me with various eye problems. There were many problems but the main one was my cornea and lens problems. My body after numerous corneal and lens transplants literally rejected my eyes. I had around five corneal transplants, two lens transplants and I had cataract but this was stuck to the eye ball so they couldn’t laser it off like they do these days. So my fourth operation was the most successful in that the graft didn’t reject and I could read a newspaper for the first time in my life without magnifying aids. This feeling was not meant to be long lived as one year and a week after that surgery I had an accident in my work place where it resulted in my eye ball bursting and that was it it was gone. They could not save it and I had an artificial eye fitted. That was 11 years ago and I don’t think I ever really accepted that eye. Life was very difficult at the start of that journey, adjusting to my new sight. I was also adjusting to my new self image which now looking back was not a good one but not realising that and just pushing myself to be strong and deal with it without it ruining my life I didn’t want it to defeat or define me. So I pushed myself without caring for myself. This worked for a while I achieved many wonderful things despite my difficulties. I had an amazing boy he is 8 years old now and has been my rock. Knowing I had to be there for him and to show him that you can achieve no matter what is what helped drive me forward. I opened my own business a life long dream of owning my own creative place that I could share creativity with others as this was truly a source of strength for me. I married a man who like all men and relationships can be challenging but he has been there for me through everything little thing and is still madly in love with me. My family and friends are another amazing source of love and strength and I wouldn’t have got through everything without them. Although at times a little space and me time would have been nice but I am on that boundaries journey as we speak and loving it!
Sorry getting a little away from my story so after the last 11 years of my life what had happened and what I had achieved I thought I was healing and getting my life finally on track but no the universe, god, fate, sods law however you want to see it that wasn’t the path I was to be on. I see it as the universe a greater power. This has been trying all my life to get me to accept my disability. Which by the way I hate that word. I was chatting to a friend who has lost the ability of his left arm and we were discussing peoples perceptions and I told him I hated the word disability and he agreed. He said he prefers the word lesability as disability sounds so final like we can’t do! When we know we can we just do a little less or a different way. Anyway the universe wanted to teach me that I haven’t been listening or accepting so it took my sight completely. I had another accident this time at home. With my depth perception off with me only having one eye and not accepting I needed to slow down or be different. I miss judged when I meant over and caught my eye on the corner of a television. This resulted in me losing 95% of my retina I was left with my eye ball but no sight. This started a whole new set of emotions and worries. I was at a very low point in my life, losing my sight, knowing I would lose my business, fearing I would lose my family,, friends and husband I didn’t know where to turn. Then I found The Bridge. This was a 6 day self healing retreat. I knew I had to heal and I knew I had to accept. I could’n’t wing it this time, I couldn’t hide in denial. If I was to move forward and I wanted to so much I had to heal and accept.
So this is my new journey. I want to share with the world my story and journey in hope that if someone is going through or someone knows of someone going through the sight loss journey that this might help and or inspire them. So please follow me, save this address and keep up to date as I will share not only my own journey but that of others I meet on the way. I will also share with you the things I find that may help in regaining confidence and independence. I am on my new journey, a journey of love, care, acceptance and true independence.
See you soon, sending love, light and creativity
xxx