I’ve been thinking about my 2021 and as I reflected on the challenges and achievements, I realised just how much determination I have. I saw that determination is not something I notice in the moment at the time, it is more like an underlying stubbornness to achieve something I set my mind too. Is there a difference?
There are two main events of 2021 where my determination stands out. These are starting up my massage practice Five Senses Therapy and the charity walk I completed in the summer for Esme’s Umbrella. One was more a mental determination and the other more physical, although both intertwined.
The 100 mile walk I completed in 10 days was challenging. It required a mental determination with a physical push. Some mornings I didn’t want to get out of bed because my feet were throbbing and my body ached, but the thought of why I was doing it came to me and made me push back the covers and get up. I knew that I would only make a difference if I finished, so I couldn’t give up! The purpose the challenge was giving me strength and this pushed me on.
As each morning came round, I realised that it was a case of breaking things down. I took each one of those ten days at a time. If I tried to think of the finish line on day one or two the task seemed too much. Looking at is as smaller individual challenges helped me stay motivated.
It is the same with my holistic therapy business. After losing my sight things were really hard, but I knew I couldn’t sit and do nothing. I know now that this feeling was my determination kicking in. What I felt in that moment spurred me on to retrain as a massage therapist and start again.
I’m learning to self manage by doing one thing at a time and gifting myself the space to do so. I’m still guilty of juggling too many things and not asking for help when I need it. But I know change takes time and as I tell my son, practice makes perfect!
When I look back at how things have changed since my sight loss and even before that, I can see that determination is a definite theme in my life. I think it has always been a part of me sitting in the background, ready to drive me on. A tool in the tool kit as they say. Until I thought about what was in my kit, I didn’t realise what a warrior my determination is. I am grateful for it and feel reassured by acknowledging its strong presence. Now I know I have many tools, some that enable me to plan, to relax, to dig deep and carry on as well as tools that tell me I need time out or to take it easy.
I hope this has maybe encouraged you to reflect on your trades and what is in your tool kit. If you give yourself the time, I am certain that you will find plenty of traits and character that can help you achieve what you want in 2022. I wish you all the best, all the hope and love for the year ahead. I will continue to share my journey in the hope it will help others.